Tuesday, August 18, 2009

P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)

D.I.Y. (Do It Yourself)

Hoo, boy, who's the Thomas Nast who conceptualized this masterpiece (don't answer that)? What's next, a portrait of George W. Bush with a blacked-out front tooth and the caption, "What, me worry?" underneath? Oh,never mind. Of course it exists. I'm not saying that I voted for either president (though I have a funny sitcom-worthy story of my experience in the voting booth last November), so my own political views don't have any influence on my tone here. Hey, maybe if I had been the first to execute one of these Photoshop jobs I wouldn't have spent the better part of last year refilling mayonnaise bottles.

Anyhow...The sun is shinin', leases are expirin', and the trash is ripe for the pickin' here in the 'Cuse. Which means misadventures for Chrissy's porcine, punk-rock alter ego. And comic misadventures she has, under the cut.

Dunkin' Swine in "Swiner Living"

Serves me right, huh? While I abandoned anarchy as a realistic goal many years ago and find many (not all) members of that community to be shrill, preachy, priviledged (I asked one guy how he was able to mass-produce his zine inexpensively, and he confessed he broke into *his dad's* print shop to make copies for "free") and humorless, the neat secret knowledge I gained through reading subversive literature has seasoned me as the sensible and mature, yet childlike young adult I am today. Besides trash picking (and, yes, young freshman throw perfectly nice, petite clothing in the dumpster and no, I bet you can't tell which items I wear came from there as opposed to the Banana Republic), the lessons I've learned and still carry with me today include:

-How to make a large shirt into a fitted shirt exactly my size.
-Dogs enjoy boiled vegetables such as broccoli, and these are much healthier for them than regular dog treats and will help them to live a longer life (I did this for my miniature schnauzer Peppy, who passed away last summer at age 14, and he loved it).
-How to effectively calm myself down when I'm all alone.
-How to make wheatpaste, an adhesive which makes it impossible for others to tear down posters (okay, I never use it anymore, but it could come in handy someday).
-How to decrease my shipping costs by sending everything media mail.

And the list goes on; reading anarchist lit is like reading a bunch of free Klutz books. Amongst all the youthfully ignorant suggestions, like how to give yourself a silly, unfortunate prison tattoo with a safety pin and India ink, or how to shoplift or train hop effectively (don't do it!), anarchist literature has lots of neat, legal arts n' crafts to try out and useful, educational, trustworthy information about the law, health, how to (legally) cut your costs, etc. Because the people who write this stuff truly care about you and/or improving American life and culture. They earn no money from what they create, so it's all a labor of love. Furthermore, some of the zines are out of date, so you can learn some tidbits of counterculture days gone by...kids used to pour salt water in soda dispensers, which would short circuit the machines, causing them to vend free cans and money. Simpler times.

I'm a big fan of nonfiction, especially biography and D.I.Y. guides. And such things can be enjoyed even on a hot day like today; if you don't care to walk to the library, you might prefer to relax inside with a frosty carafe of lemonade and enjoy what, if I remember correctly, is the first digital library I've ever patronized...the Crimethinc Online Reading Library. This site also used to have bundles of free paper pamphlets and other freebies that they would mail out, but sadly the free store appears to be dying out. HOWEVER, if you write to them and complain that you are bored and the weather isn't nice enough to go to the library, someone will eventually take pity on you and mail you a grab-bag of goodies and a longish, neatly handwritten letter on nice stationary. Infoshop is another good one. Totse is sadly defunct. It was all so very long ago.

By the way, in keeping with the anarchist tradition of adding books to the library stacks, I "lose" some little reading materials around the iSchool from time to time. When I do, they're on the second floor on that table with the couches around it. It's usually just weeding out materials from my personal collection that I think others might find interesting.

So hopefully the digital library I linked to will stimulate your imagination somewhat...because if you want to make a political statement, you can do better than that Obama poster there. I'm not a fan of political art, but maybe that's just because it has gotten so lame over the years. Our kids at Crimethinc are still putting out some interesting stuff, at least, but they're so sequestered in their own communes that few even know they exist. Perhaps if the fellas putting up those Joker posters read the ubiquitous wheatpaste recipe embedded in many anarcho-craft guides, their stuff wouldn't be so easy to tear down.

After awhile, dystophile.


  1. http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2009/08/obama-joker-artist.html

  2. This is my favorite post yet. Probably because I could understand it - I'm not hip enough to really get a lot of your awesome comic/artist stuff (sadly).

    I've yet to find clothes in dumpsters that would fit me. Too many SU frosh are anorexic.

    And the last thing I need is another pair of sweatpants from Victoria's Secret...

  3. Also, since you touched on the issue of politics in this post, would you be interested in re-starting the Bull Moose party with me?

  4. "It takes more than a bullet to kill a bull moose."-Roosevelt

    That's all I remember about that political party. But if you school me a little more, maybe I'd be down for the resurrection.

  5. a kid i knew almost lost his arm trying to crawl into a dumpster during his first week as a "freegan" ... he came to class with blood spilling out of his arm and my professor made him leave.

    be careful !

  6. No way will I ever eat food out of a trash can or dumpster. And I'm a skimmer, not a swimmer.